What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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