Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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