so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
