next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
