that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
