I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
