i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
