she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
