Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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