Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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