Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
