ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just want nice things and good sex
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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