AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
