Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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