only if we run a train.
done.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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