did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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