I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
