After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
