apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
