You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
