it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
