Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I pour the whiskey from now on
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
