It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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