Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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