That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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