why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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