I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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