Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
