don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.