just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
