You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
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He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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