After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
