I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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