sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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