Christians are straight up FREAKS
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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