it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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