i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Drake has all the answers
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
