I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
