i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
