that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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