I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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