He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
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We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
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My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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