The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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