the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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