I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So squirting runs in the family.
Found your dick twin last night
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
