I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
