I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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