You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
