just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
