please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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