why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
