Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
