you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
