He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
