Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
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