false alarm. still invincible.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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