yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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