So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just blew my weed a kiss
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
