Will you blow on my dice?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
