it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
