ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
