dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize