I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
