sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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