1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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