first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize