ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize