You're so nebulous sometimes
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
